Aegosexual

Aegosexual, previously known as Autochorissexual, is an identity that describes those who have a disconnection between themselves and the subject of sexual fantasies or attraction. Aegosexuals may have sexual fantasies, view porn and other sexual content, or masturbate, but they generally feel little to no sexual attraction and typically do not desire to have sex with another person, or experience sexual attraction that are atypical with an Allosexual's.

Some common Aegosexual experiences include:


 * Enjoying or getting aroused by sexual content, but lacking the same enthusiasm for a sexual relationship in real life.
 * Masturbating, but being indifferent or repulsed by the idea of having sex with another person.
 * Fantasizing about sex, but the aegosexual person is not involved, they are only a disembodied observer viewing it from a third-person perspective, and not from the first person.
 * Fantasizing about sex, but envisioning only other people, such as celebrities or fictional characters.
 * Fantasizing about sex, but it involves generic, faceless people, not specific people.
 * Fantasizing about sex, but through the perspective of another person rather than as one's actual self.
 * Fantasizing about sex, but only imagining oneself, and no other people.
 * Fantasizing about sex, but it is idealized and unrealistic. Adding realistic elements to the fantasy makes the idea of sex less appealing or even repulsive.
 * Perceiving someone as "hot" or recognizing someone as sexually attractive, yet not seeing the appeal of having sex with the person in real life. The Aegosexual person may instead prefer to fantasize about them.
 * Enjoying erotic content but getting turned on by the situation or relationship dynamics in the story lines rather than by one's attraction to the people.

Aegosexual is an identity under the Ace Spectrum, and more broadly, the A-spectrum.

Pronunciation



 * [AY-go-sEk-shuul]

Etymology
Dr. Bogaert derived the term from the phase "Autochoris", meaning "sexuality without identity".

Aego is derived from Latin words with A- meaning "without" and Ego meaning "myself", making the whole word translate to "sexual without myself".

History
The term Autochorisexual was coined by Dr. Anthony Bogaert, a psychologist who specializes in human sexuality, in 2012. He classified it as a paraphilia since, at the time, Asexuality was considered a psychological disorder. This caused controversy with the name, with some not caring about the negative association and others choosing to reclaim the word while others chose to identify with the label "Aegosexual".

The term "Aegosexual" and it's "Aego-" prefix was coined by tumblr user Sugar-And-Spite on November 1, 2014. The term is meant to have the same meaning as "Autochorisexual", but formulated with Latin roots, making the word easier to pronounce and discarding of the orientation's original perception as a paraphilia.

Some Aegosexuals were also uncomfortable with Bogaert's definition of Autochorisexual, which remained the widely used definition for Aegosexual. Other definitions were coined as a result, with varying takes on whether or not aegosexuals experience sexual attraction. Some of these definitions are as follows:


 * Liking the idea of sex, and/or enjoying sexual content, but not actually experiencing attraction or wanting to have sex with anybody. A person who enjoys the idea of sexual relationships but does not wish to have one. (Associated with a disconnect between the person and a sexual target/fantasy)
 * Someone who feels sexual attraction, but does not want to participate in sex.
 * Feeling attraction and desire only for situations that do not involve one’s self.

Subsets

 * Aegofictosexual

Flag
The Aegosexual flag was created by tumblr user HunterInABrownCoat on July 23, 2014. The colors are identical to the Asexual flag, but it possesses a triangle with an inverted order of the colors. The triangle represents a "reverse" of Asexuality, as Aegosexuals are likely to be initially perceived as sexual people. The color associations remains the same with the Asexual flag, with an extra meaning added to the grey stripe; along with Demisexuals and Greyasexuals, it represents the in-between of arousal.

An alternate flag was designed by tumblr user AegosexualPride (now deactivated) and helped by an unnamed "member of the aegosexual community" on or before August 5, 2020. The color meanings are as follows: Purple represents community, likely coming from the Asexual community. Gray represents the entire spectrum of Asexuality. Teal represents a disconnection between the self and attraction. Black represents Asexuality.

Two alternate versions were created on August 8, 2020 by Xeno-Aligned which kept the triangle symbolism of the original flag but used the colors of the alternate flag. One version had the purple on top and teal at the bottom, the other had the teal on top and the purple at the bottom.

Coining
"Autochoris- is a bit of a mouthful…

…and was coined with intentions to use it to describe a paraphilia (NOT a sexuality), by someone who (despite notable and commendable contributions) is not himself asexual, nor does he remotely identify with the term he created.

Now, to sidetrack: I am not the only person to have had the “Yer a wizard, Harry!” moment of realization upon hearing the description of this term, that incredible relief of “Oh God, it’s not just me”. I’m not the only one to have spent years wondering what was wrong with me, why I felt this way, and what the hell my identity was, anyway. I give tremendous regards to Dr. Bogaert for his coinage of the term, and his definition of what many of us were experiencing without knowing how to explain it, or feeling comfortable enough to talk about it.

However, my gratitude to Dr. Bogaert does not erase my distaste for the unnecessarily long and unpronounceable word (choris or khoris?), nor does it mean I am any less upset and offended that he described my experience as a paraphilia. A paraphilia is an abnormal sexual interest, much like a fetish. And as we can see from the number of people who can relate, autochoris- is not abnormal. We are not broken, we are not strange, and we have lived our lives wondering what’s wrong with us. In my case, I’ve spent years already battling hatred from both sides; those who claimed asexuality does not exist, and my own mind, for claiming I couldn’t be asexual if I experienced sexual arousal. Enough is enough. I know I’m not the only one that’s taken years to get here and find where I belong. I’m not about to sit by and let some allosexual man tell me that what I’ve felt, worried about, and cried over for years is essentially a fetish. This is my sexuality, and I don’t want the word for it to take longer to say than the definition.

So! I saw a suggestion that someone who identifies with the definition of autochoris- to coin a new term, and I set to the task. Using my previous knowledge of Latin linguistics and a few websites, I made a list of possible terms, and narrowed down my favorite: aego- (AY-go or AI-go), as in aegosexual(ity) or aegoromantic(ism). This was drawn from the prefix a-, meaning without, and the word ego, meaning me or myself. Translated literally, aegosexual would mean “sexual without myself”, which is essentially the same translation as autochoris.

I don’t mean to be presumptuous and say that this is the only acceptable term for this sexuality. However, I am adamant that this be considered a sexuality, and due to my belief that it should be treated as such, I felt it needed a term to describe it as a sexuality, not as a paraphilia. I’m open to suggestions for other terms, and I still have my list of possible terms and their meanings saved, if anyone would like to see them. Since autochoris- is still a new word, I’d like to see it reclaimed and accepted as a sexuality, with a new word to brand it as such, before it’s dismissed by the ace/aro and LGBT+ community. I will not rest until it is classed as a full sexuality, and I fully believe that a new term is the first step towards making it so."

- Sugar-And-Spite