Demi- is an orientation where one does not experience attraction to a person until they have developed an emotional connection to them. The connection can be sexual, platonic, or some other form of connection. There is no guarantee that this attraction will develop after an emotional connection is formed, but it is required in order for attraction to be possible.
It is an orientation under the aspec umbrella and, in itself, can be a catchall for all orientation using the demi- prefix.
Some demi- people may choose to further define their orientation in terms of genders they are attracted to (demipanromantic, demihomosexual, demibi, etc.). Others do not find this necessary, or feel that they have not had enough experiences of that form of attraction to figure out who they’re attracted to.
Contents
Etymology
The prefix demi- means "half" or "partial". The prefix is also used in words such as demigod.
Definitions
| “ | An orientation under the A-spec umbrella where one only experiences attraction to someone until they have formed an emotional connection to them. With what counts as a "close connection" varying between various demis. |
| — 2021 |
Community
Perception and Discrimination
There is a misconception that demi- orientations are not needed because "Isn't that just being normal?", which is untrue.
Being demi- (demisexual, demiromantic, or other demi- orientations) is not the societal norm. On sexuality specifically for example, the societal norm is to abstain from sex until there's an emotional connection, whereas demisexuals literally cannot feel attraction until there's an emotional connection.
Being demi- is not the same as being straight, nor is it seen as "normal". Demi- people face aphobia and bigotry. Their experiences are often ridiculed and erased, often and perhaps, unintentionally, even by some in the aspec community. Not "ace/aro/etc. enough", but also not "allo enough" either to escape aphobes.
Orientation
- Demisexual, developing sexual attraction towards someone after forming an emotional connection to them.
- Demiromantic, developing romantic attraction towards someone after forming an emotional connection to them.
- Demiaroace, developing sexual and/or romantic attraction towards someone after forming an emotional connection to them.
- Demialterous, developing alterous attraction towards someone after forming an emotional connection to them.
- Demiplatonic, developing platonic attraction towards someone after forming an emotional connection to them.
- Demiqueerplatonic, developing queerplatonic attraction towards someone after forming an emotional connection to them.
- Demisensual, developing sensual attraction towards someone after forming an emotional connection to them.
- Demiaesthetic, developing aesthetic attraction towards someone after forming an emotional connection to them.
Related Terms
See Also
- Demispec
- Fray
Gallery
Flags
Currently, there is no known general demi- flag. However, demi- flags exist for all the attraction types listed above. The demisexual flag was created first, and similar flags for the other attraction types followed soon after.
It is unknown when the demisexual flag was created or by whom, but it was presumably created after the asexual flag was created in 2010, as it uses the same colors, which were based off the AVEN logo. In both the asexual and demisexual flags, black represents a lack of sexual attraction, and purple represents the acespec community. The grey in the demisexual flag represents greysexuality, which demisexuality is included under, and white represents sexual attraction.